Catholicity and Balance: How to Stress Less and Achieve More

by Michael K. St. Pierre

The Great Juggling Act

Three phone messages are on your machine, a new project was just given to you by your boss and you have four errands to run between work and the time you get home tonight.  Guess what?  If this describes an aspect of your life as a Catholic and layman, you’re not alone! Managing a family life (the primary lay vocation) and the demands of being a professional take perseverance and grace.  The good news is that it is possible and with a few pointers can turn chaos into balance.  Mix in your faith and you’ve got a powerful combination that spells one word: balance.  Consider the following P’s of a balanced lifestyle:

PRIORITIES

In order to keep your head above water and maintain some sense of control in your life, you’ve got to set priorities and have the courage to keep them.  Just consider some of the things to keep in check: work, relationships with your spouse and friends, parenting, exercise, vacationing, yard work, etc.  As with most things, if you look at these all at once, they attack you with a ferocity that can quickly send you to tears.  All of us can relate to the feeling of being overwhelmed.  The trick is in keeping your list in steady flow but with some items consistently rising to the top. 

Decide today to make a list and then work your life around it.  Priority #1 is always going to be your relationship with Jesus Christ.  Priority #2 is (if you have a family) going to be family related.  From there, all other things flow.  Work is a means to an end.  Whether that end is making enough money to support your family or providing you with an avenue to serve God, it’s still only a part of your life. Keep your list on the fridge or in your planner.  Let it remind you of the most important people and commitments in your life.  I like to tell the story of my friend Keith who often skips the happy hour attended by many of his coworkers after work on Friday.  For him it’s quite simple: his wife is waiting for him at home with their three beautiful children and it’s obvious that they take precedent over a couple of beers with the guys.

POISE

It’s not easy to craft your life around your list of priorities.  For example, if maintaining good health is high on your list (it’s high up there, right?) and you have to attend a professional conference where they only serve high fat foods at the lunch break, you’ll have to keep your wits about you and make some hard decisions.  You could eat less but that would only leave your stomach grumbling during the afternoon session (embarrassing) or you could find an alternative. 

Bringing some supplemental snacks along is always a good idea and an apple in your purse or briefcase can turn an average lunch into something at least somewhat healthy.  If the meeting is being held in a busy area, why not venture off-site and find a place that serves more healthy food.  Sure it might cost you a few bucks extra but you’ll be getting some fresh air, a little bit of exercise and a break from the meeting.  Whether it’s maintaining good health or an early-morning prayer ritual, you’ll need plenty of poise to navigate the obstacles that come your way.  A ministry coach once told me to anticipate roadblocks so that when they come you will be better prepared to fend them off.

PERSISTENCE

Most of the time we stop trying things after we fail just one time and yet history is filled with many great minds who failed time and time again only to “get it right” years later.  It all depends on your perspective of defeat.  If you look at it as a part of victory then launch into that new project you’ve been dying to begin.  On the flip side, if defeat is something which you dread then the list of things you’ve always wanted to do but were afraid to try just might get bigger and bigger.  It was Benjamin Franklin who said,   “Energy and persistence conquer all things.”

Scripture is filled with images of holy men and women who persevere and ultimately attain their goal.  Whether it’s the persistent widow from Luke’s Gospel or the Lord Himself as he fulfilled his mission on earth, one finds an easy connection between our faith and our trials and errors. 

How does this play out in our professional lives?  In our workplaces, we can have the courage to try new techniques and methods in order to maximize the output of our coworkers.  When colleagues tell me about a “bad day”, I often remind them that each week has five days- don’t let one bad day get you down.  On the administrative level, persistence is important when dealing with coworkers, especially those whom you might find disagreeable.  Rather than pigeon hole them into “the way he always responds” to your input, consider each day realistically and strive for modest steps of improvement. 

PREPARATION

Each week must include some kind of quiet, contemplative preparation in order to accomplish the high-priority items which are essential to being successful.  I am amazed at how many people just “show up” on Monday morning and figure things out as the day goes on.  While some professional environments might cater to this kind of reactive posture, those of us in schools know that preparation is key. 

·          Step One: Set aside time on Friday afternoon to “download” any unfinished tasks onto paper or in your planner.  This could also take place sometime on Saturday.   Just be sure that you don’t fall into last minute rushing around the prepare classes, meetings and other items which can easily slide to Sunday evening.  If you’re like me, Sunday night is probably my least effective time of the weekend to do planning for the week.

·          Step Two: Review your mission statement and internal sense of what you’re “all about”.  This should include a professional examination of conscience: am I doing a good job?  Am I serving the Lord effectively?  Am I sharing my faith with others?

·          Step Three: Look ahead at the following week and schedule in those important projects that are facing you.  How does your project list look?  Which projects will take precedence this week and what are the absolute next actions that you can take in each of them?  Who do you need to contact in order to help you complete your work?  Schedule in specific tasks for specific days.  The more precise you can be, the more you’ll get done.

·          Step Four: pat yourself on the back- you’ve just done what only 10% of the population does in planning your week.  Great job! Feel good that you’re being proactive and taking your week head on before it takes you on.

PONDERING

When was the last time you had a string of three or even four weeks with a personal time with God?  Ok, three or four days?  Many Catholics go months without sitting down and having a good chat with the Lord.  For those of us in Catholic education, our busy schedules often take precedent over our personal time in prayer and devotion but a full calendar doesn’t have to dominate a life seeking more balance and calm. 

We all need some time to ponder and think deeply about what’s going on in our lives and how to keep Jesus Christ involved in our daily affairs.  I find that some of my best times of reflection come through non-religious actions like going for a walk or working in the garden but I know that I still need to sit down and read my Bible and the pray. 

Consider your place for prayer- do you have one?  If not, designate a prayer spot somewhere in your home that you can customize and make your own.  Maybe there is a window seat or rocking chair that you can claim.  I’ve remodeled a small room in my basement just for prayer, study and reflection.  I’ve placed photos that I like around the room and calming colors.  Add a few plants and you’re ready to go!

Consider your time for prayer- when are you at your best?  I’m at about 10% brain capacity after nine o’clock so I try to schedule my prayer time in the early morning.  My kids aren’t up and it’s a great way to start the day.  Routine is very important so I try to keep to the same time each day. 

Consider your motivation for prayer- why pray in the first place?  If it’s simply to “do your duty” then take up a hobby like water color.  On the other hand, if you’re heart wants to draw closer to the Savior of the world, then prayer makes an awful lot of sense.  My spiritual director recently asked me about my motivations for prayer and I had to stop and think; I hadn’t been asked that question in over a decade!

PEACEFULNESS

St. Augustine of Hippo once said, “Peace is the tranquility of order.”  Boy did he nail it on the head!  When our lives are full of balance, the result is a deeper sense of inner peace, confidence and joy.  Balance is a tool to achieve the kind of life that can serve the Lord more fully and with greater passion.  If you work on all of the P’s mentioned above, you will be struck when someone says to you, “you know, you are a very peaceful person Jan.”  That feels about as good as when someone tells you that they thought you had been going to the gym to work out.  So why not start today, launch out onto the path of balance and peace.  Your faith and your pursuit of balance are the greatest marriage partners so let it happen and enjoy the fruits of the journey.

Copyright © 2006, Michael K. St. Pierre. Michael is the Director of Franciscan Youth Ministry at Archbishop Curley High School in Baltimore, MD.  He lives with his wife and two children in northern Maryland.  He can be reached at www.mikestpierre.com