Friends Don't Let Friends Get Abortions

by Fr. Frank Pavone

I was at an abortion mill in Texas one hot day, and a jeep pulled up with two women in it. Fortunately, another sidewalk counselor and I intercepted them far enough away from the entrance to the mill so that they did not feel rushed to go in or embarrassed to stop and talk. We were able to persuade the mom to choose life, and called the National Life Center on a cell phone to get her help right away.

In the course of making these arrangements, I spoke at some length to the friend of the pregnant girl. She told me, "Father, I was trying to convince my friend not to do this. I was telling her that abortion was a bad thing, not only for her baby, but for her."

I listened, and could sense she was sincere. I asked her kindly, "If you were trying to stop her from doing this, then why did you drive her here?"

"Father," she said, "I had to be loyal to my friend."

The reply reminded me of a poster I once saw which said, "Friends are people you can laugh with, cry with, sing with, run with, eat with, and sin with." The poster, of course, was true except for the last two words. And the desire of the driver at the abortion mill to be loyal to her friend was good, except for how it was being applied.

The problem here can best be illustrated by the well known ad, "Friends don't let friends drive drunk." I've asked High School students all over the country why this is true. "If your friend has been drinking and takes out the car keys and offers to drive, will you let her do so?" "No," comes the response. "But what if she insists?" I ask. "After all, she may claim, 'This is my car, these are my keys, this is my choice!' Will you insist anyway that she not drive?" "Yes," comes the response from the students, "I'd even take the keys from her… because I don't want her to harm or kill others or herself."

There's the point. Some choices have victims. Friends must be loyal to friends…But a friend does not help a friend to do what is wrong. A friend gives a friend the courage to do what is right, the strength to be faithful to that which is good for him/her and others. Friends who allow or facilitate actions which harm their friends are not exercising loyalty in friendship.